KANYE
š¤ āCalabASSES (Alumni Dreams)
āA Kanye-style rap anthem for the 818’s finest institution
[HOOK ā Soul Sample + Choir]
š¶ Cum Laude, shake that thing proudly
818 bound me, thick curves found me
Built this college off body and fame
Call it CalabASSES ā remember the name š¶
[VERSE 1 ā Ye-style flow]
Yo, I graduated magna with the magna thighs
Dean said Iām late, I said “blame the size”
Camcorders on campus, no need to explain
Got my start on a tape, now I’m printin’ my name
This that Kardashian curriculum, major in mystique
Minor in āHow to break the net every weekā
Calabasas, baby, where the peaches aināt fake
But the egos and exes be hard to shake
I donāt read books, I read body language
Majored in “Clap Back,” passed with anguish
Fashion Nova robes on graduation day
We donāt throw hats, we just throw it Yeās way
[HOOK ā Choir harmonizing]
š¶ Cum Laude, shake that thing proudly
Built like a mansion, flexin’ so loudly
Kim walked so the rest could strut
Welcome to CalabASSES ā school of the butt š¶
[VERSE 2 ā Rant Energy Ye]
Look, I started from beats, now Iām teachin’ cheeks
School of hard knocks, but we sittinā on seats
Told āem I want respect like itās collagen
Now they DM me like, āProfessor, again?ā
I used to pray for degrees, now I bend degrees
Backshots in the syllabus, baby, say cheese
Ray Jās cam got a statue in the quad
Kimās surgeonās plaque sayinā āGod is Godā
This for North, this for South, this for all directions
Even Siri got confused tryna find this section
They said I changed since the fame and the press
Nahājust upgraded my address (and my ass-ets)
[BRIDGE ā Auto-tuned Ye]
š¶ Stretch marks look like constellations
Ten semesters of temptations
BBL dreams, manifestation
Drip so loud, it caused vibrations š¶
[OUTRO ā Choir + Fade-out Sample]
š¶ CalabASSES, class dismissed
No cap, no shame, just juicy bliss
Cum Laude ā yeah, we said it again
āCause our cheeks speak louder than men š¶
KIM K Version
Built in CalabASSES (Kimās Version)āA Kardashian-core anthem for baddies with degrees in seduction
[INTRO ā Whispered, sultry]
“Like, I didnāt choose CalabASSESā¦
It chose me. š
”
[HOOK ā Catchy & Glossy]
š¶ Built in CalabASSES, cheeks so deluxe
BBL diploma, I donāt need no luck
Walk like a final, curve like a grade
Every step I take, another sex tapeās made š¶
[VERSE 1 ā Kim talking, slightly rapping]
Iām not fake, Iām professionally edited
My bodyās a brand, legally credited
Put Calabasas on the f***in’ map
Then turned my rear into a global app
Studied the angles, passed the class
Majored in mirrors, minored in ass
Got my degree in seduction science
Cum Laude, with a dash of defiance
They said I was famous for bein’ me
But I flipped that script and got a law degree
Now Iām a lawyer, influencer, CEO
And still the reason half yāall scrollinā slow
[HOOK ā More assertive, layered vox]
š¶ Built in CalabASSES, yeah, I said what I said
Break the internet, still breakinā the bed
Schooled these girls in the art of finesse
CalabASSES U ā certified success š¶
[VERSE 2 ā Spicy, classic Kim shade]
Ray made a tape, but I made an empire
Burned through the scandal, walked out flyer
Kanye put Yeezy on every shelf
But I modeled the world… all by myself
Sisters on my left, PR team on deck
Even my cry face cut a million-dollar check
Lips lined sharp like a final exam
This ass paid for more than you ever can
Gave yāall the blueprint, still get blamed
But your faves all copied and never named
From selfies to surgeons, I set the pace
Now even AI try to clone my face
[BRIDGE ā Melodic hook, echo FX]
š¶ I put the “ass” in Calabasas
No regrets, no passes
Took my Ls and turned them gold
Bitch, I age like a scandalānever old š¶
[OUTRO ā Whispered, iconic delivery]
“Like, itās not just a universityā¦
Itās a lifestyle.
Welcome to CalabASSES.
Cum Laude, baby.”
š Sound of a camera shutter & a peach slapping